"The Metaphor of The Number 2"

Yesterday (31July2008) was a wonderful day in Katonah.

I had coffee with some of our breakfast crew (the Giobbi's, Adam, and Susan) at Perks and we discussed two 'vital' topics... a problem with sediment in Susan and Marc's water supply to the house and catching, preparing, and devouring lobsters (homarus americanus)... my old marine biology studies have never left me.

It was a warm day with crystal clear blue skies and not a zephyr of a breeze.

I was in a particularly good mood as I just learned earlier that day that a long-overdue (and necessary) consulting position finally came through. Monday will be my first day of the assignment. Finally!

At 10:00AM I had my regular weekly session with a highly motivated client who I have been seeing for approximately three months. She has made tremendous progress on her journey and, last week, reached the beginnings of a major crossroad.

Crossroads are an opportunity for insights.

Last week's session
Sara (name disguised) shared that she was feeling a lot of nervous energy. She was not afraid of it nor did it impact her daily activities or sleep pattern. She felt it in her upper chest and arms and, when asked "what does it feel like?", she reported... "Like I have to do something and I don't know what it is. The energy seems to be stuck up in my body and it should be going throughout my body so I can keep moving and progressing on my journey."

After much discussion, she began to realize that while she has made much emotional progress during the past three months, she has done little to nurture and care for her physical self. There was a clear disconnect.

I suggested that she act on this insight and a few options were discussed e.g., going to a clinical nutritionist, work with someone she knows who does energy balancing, go for Rolfing, etc.

Sara's 'homework' was to decide on which of the options was most appealing (or an alternative option) and ACT on it. DO IT.

Yesterday's session
Sara was early and since I did not have a 9:00AM, we started about 15 minutes early. She was in a particularly 'up' mood and when probed, shared that she had a major insight and wanted to explore it with me.

She has clarity and embraced her emotional journey. She recognizes the need to integrate her emotional and physical selves. BUT, she did nothing to act on it. She was frustrated and "clueless" with her lack of "motivation and desire to bring the two together."

We continued to explore this new terrain and along the way, Sara's facial expression turned grim and she expressed feelings of fear and, when probed, "terror".

She realized that fear was preventing her from action. However, she had no idea what the fear was about. I invited her to spend some time visiting with her fear.

After a lengthy silence, Sara began to cry. No matter how hard she tried, she did not have a clue as to the origin of her fear.

"Verbal wandering" (free-association) yielded little. She appeared paralyzed.

Sara and I have been "charting" her journey on a "map". I took out the maps from previous sessions and placed them before her. She examined them closely and began to smile. Sara pointed to last week's map and ones from the previous weeks and said, "I totally see that I have traveled far but why am I afraid to make the next step?"

I offered a mathematical metaphor as follows:

"If 1 = emotional and another 1 = physical, what does 1 + 1 equal?"

Sara replied, "2"
I said, "OK, now tell me what 2 equals? You totally get the equation and each element of it. You have no fear of each component. You are afraid of the #2. What does the #2 symbolize for you?"

Prolonged silence.. she said, with tears... "Health!"
..."And why are you afraid of being healthy?, I asked.

"Because I don't know how to do it. It is new to me. The times I feel healthy it is like a 'view of heaven' and I have to go back. I can't stay. So it's easier for me not to go there."

After much time and conversation, she continued, "I don't have the skills to sustain the #2. I could fail. I am afraid to go somewhere when i don't have the risk of falling are big."

I offered.."When scaling a mountain, the path is never linear to the summit. There are times the team must descend to ascend. There are times you must simply traverse with no up or down movement. You have come to the #2. YOU have to decide what to do. I can assure you that you will not fall off the mountain."

Sara smiled, wiped some tears from her eyes and shared, "I know I am scared and I have been scared before I got through it. What is it you said...Traverse? I am going to see a someone I know this week who does 'bodywork' and see what happens once she works on me. How will I know if the #2 is as scary as I think if I don't face it? But I need to have the physical strength to do it. At least let me get the strength to try. I think this is part of my traverse. Just imagine what's going to happen when I come to the #3!"

I smiled and said, "Just imagine."

______________________________________
Crossroads are indeed an opportunity for insights.
Acting on your insights in growth.